Mom brain…that feeling when you simply cannot turn your brain off no matter how hard you try. Finding mental rest as a mom can be challenging and sometimes feels impossible. When I asked the moms on Facebook about the hardest part of motherhood, mental exhaustion was a top answer. I totally get it. This is something I struggle with and relate to as well. The mental load can seem unbearable at times.
The moment I wake up, my mind starts racing. What do I need to get done today? What needs to be cleaned? The kids are hungry, I need to feed them. When is that project due for work again? The list goes on. Have you ever felt this way? I think in our society, this “mental load” can often turn into anxiety.
In our culture today, we have too much information thrown at us so fast all the time. Have you ever stopped to think about this? I believe in a way it has trained our brains to have a hard time slowing down and resting. We have social media vying for our attention, we have notifications going off on our phone, we have the Internet at our fingertips, the TV blaring the news…meanwhile our children are in front of us begging for our attention.
This is the world that we live in. This is the world I grew up in. How do we deal with it? With so much information all the time, no wonder we have anxiety as moms. No wonder the teenagers of today are more overwhelmed, more stressed and more anxious than ever. It is all too much for one person to handle.
I have also discovered that for me, sometimes my head is spinning so fast I find it hard to enjoy the moment I am in. Even when my phone isn’t going off, even when I don’t have the TV on, even when I’m not working, sometimes I can’t enjoy playing with my children because my brain is still thinking about what I need to do next. As a mom, I constantly am keeping track of things in my head. What time did I last feed the kids? How many hours since the baby’s last nap? What should I make for dinner? Did I schedule that doctor’s appointment?
I have spent the last week thinking about mental rest and how I can be better at achieving it. How can I slow my brain down so that I can learn to enjoy living in the moment more? I think the first step is prioritizing my tasks. For example: is this something that absolutely needs to be done right now or can it wait? I have found that I need to let go of always having the house clean to my standards. If it were up to me, I would have all of the laundry folded, no dishes in the sink, carpets vacuumed, etc all the time. This is simply not my reality right now. I work from home and I have my two children with me all day. I cannot do it all. And that is ok.
I am trying to choose to enjoy being in the moment. This is hard for me. It’s hard when I know something needs to be cleaned but I have the opportunity to sit down and play with my daughter for a second. It is hard to fight the urge to go clean that thing, but I am forcing myself to stop and play with my daughter. The time with both of my children is so precious. Dishes, laundry, vacuuming, those things will always be there, but time with my children will not. They grow up way too fast and I do not want to keep missing out on moments with them because I feel like I need to have a perfect looking house.
The second thing I feel that would help would be to take media breaks. This includes social media, TV media, anything really. I’m trying to only look at social media during certain times. This helps me prioritize the moments I have with my children without mindlessly scrolling and missing out on my real life in front of me.
Another strategy that I am finding to be helpful is to have a “rest” day during the week. For me, Sunday is my rest day. I am doing my best to choose not to be preoccupied with housework on Sunday’s so that I can focus on myself and my family. The cleaning and chores can get done on the other days of the week. I am also trying to pick an activity I enjoy doing on Sunday to incorporate some mental rest. For me this might mean reading a book or going on a walk by myself. This is what I mean by having a “rest” day.
Finally, I think meditation is so important. As a Christian, it is vital for me to slow down and meditate on Scripture. It is imperative that I quiet my mind and my heart and sit before the Lord so that I can truly experience his supernatural rest. He is able to give me the rest that I need. I believe mental rest is truly achieved through asking Christ to ease the burden of my mind.
Meditation and prayer are easier said than done with kids. It is something I have struggled with since having kids. I miss my “quiet time” that I used to have before them. I was able to sit down peacefully whenever I wanted, drink my coffee, read my Bible and journal with no interruptions. This is not my reality today. I have found that no matter how early I set my alarm to be able to have a minute to myself so that I can find that spiritual rest, my kids always seem to know and are up with me during that time.
The Lord has been teaching me that I don’t need a beautifully structured time all by myself to lean into Him and ask Him for rest. He meets me where I am. I do try and take a minute of peace throughout my day somehow to be able to rest in Him for a few moments. However, He is also teaching me that my children are watching me and when they see me take a minute to read my Bible or do my devotion, they are learning. They are learning what spiritual rest looks like and that is something important to teach.
I would love to hear your thoughts and strategies on how you fight mom brain and how you try and achieve mental rest. Feel free to comment on Facebook or Instagram.
Key Takeaways:
- Prioritize tasks so that everything does not always seem so overwhelming.
- Take media breaks. Carve out specific times of the day where media will not be distracting.
- Consider turning off notifications for a portion of the day if you are able to.
- Pick a “rest” day. Forget the chores/cleaning. Choose a fun activity for yourself.
- Rest in the Lord. Pray and meditate on His word. Listen to some music for a few moments to quiet your mind and rest in Him.